RIDING

I've been thinking about my beautiful Harley Davidson jacket lately.  It's leather is soft & supple, it has pretty blue & green stitching and cool zippers and air-openings, reflective piping & a silky lining.  I never dreamed I'd own such a jacket or ride on the back of a Harley dude's bike!  But last summer was magical!  Oh, the joy of climbing onto Tim's bike, wrapping my arms around him & experiencing the exhilaration of zooming off for long rides, talking, singing, laughing & getting to know one another in that very unique setting.  What happy memories I have of that jacket and those rides!   

Spring is practically upon us, the weather is warming up & I've been seeing motorcycles out for about a week.  Typically that doesn't happen till April in Vermont, but this year spring is here early.  And I'm not prepared.  


I tried on my jacket just now, thinking surely, it won't fit me because I've gained SO much weight this winter.  (I laughingly call it "love fat" which I gained while lovingly cooking, baking & eating w/ my sweetheart and our families.)  And I was right. It doesn't fit.  Yes, I squeezed myself into it and even managed to zip it up, but my chest was flattened and I could barely move my arms.  GAAHH!  There's no way I can comfortably ride with all this extra weight on me.  It's too much.  I don't want to be "thin" just...lighter.  Fitter.  Right now I feel HUGE, ugly, unlovable, un-sexy, frustrated with clothes that don't fit and frustrated at my lack of motivation to lose weight.  I continue to talk myself in & out of dieting, losing a few pounds then gaining it back plus some.  This is CRAZY!!


So.  Today, Thursday, March 15, 2012 I began again.  I ate well & healthily, took out my Townie & had a great bike ride which made my heart pump, my legs ache and my butt sore!  I have plenty of good food on hand & will drink lots of water.  Tomorrow I plan to get up early and go for a vigorous walk before work.  And this weekend I'm going to plan good food for healthy eating and try to get some exercise in at least on Saturday.  


That's my plan.  Will I stick to it?  We shall see.